Trigger Warning

This topic may be off-putting to the naive or pure-minded reader. For that reason, I’m providing you the opportunity to look away now, before you read something that “scars you for life” or burns into your brain in such a way that you can’t unsee it. I’m warning you, look away now. I’m not even close to kidding.

Sex and the Christian. More pointedly, Christians whose sexual attractions are not hetero. That’s the topic today. More than likely, if you are a Christian, you know another Christian whose natural sexual attraction is not for the opposite sex. He or she may not actively pursue romantic interest in the same sex or at all, but the daily battle of attraction to the same sex is likely there, and it is probably unwanted. What is a Christian that experiences unwanted same-sex attraction supposed to do with it?

In recent years, four general schools of theological thought have emerged regarding this very point. They are referred to as “Sides.” Specifically, they are Sides A, B, Y, and X.

The Side A school of “theological” thought embraces the notion that same-sex attraction is perfectly acceptable and compatible with Christian belief and that it should be celebrated as openly as possible. Any idea that a Christian need “repent” of sexual sin due to homosexual attraction is considered judgmental nonsense. The entire community of LGBTQIA+ is embraced by Side A apologists as acceptable and normal in the eyes of God.

Side B takes a different view of almost every element than Side A, except for conversion therapy. Both stand firmly against that idea as being harmful or even dangerous. Side B acknowledges with Side A that people are born with opposite- or same-sex attraction, but disagrees with the notion that same-sex attraction should be pursued. For those in the Side B camp, romance should not be sought out. However, those with such attraction or orientation should feel comfortable retaining their designation of LGBT or Q as a means of reaching the lost and showing that even Christians can love Jesus while dealing with disordered sexual identities.

Side Y believers take the Side B views a step further by denouncing the acceptance of LGBT or Q identification, arguing that one’s identity is found only in Jesus Christ. In the Side Y community, the emphasis on Unwanted SSA is stressed more than in the other three “Sides” in an attempt to characterize the attraction as undesired yet inherent to their birth nature.

Finally, Side X adherents adamantly demand that anyone that claims Christ as Savior and Lord must denounce same-sex attraction and actively seek to change their orientation to heterosexual. For Side X, the homosexual can and should be cured by marrying a member of the opposite sex.

So, what is the best response to Christians dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction?

None of these “Sides” holds a completely good answer. Side X is harsh and ungracious. Side A is heretical. Side B is troubling in that it suggests that being a “new creation” in Christ doesn’t take effect this side of heaven if we aren’t living that reality here on earth. That is, if we are living in the identification of our old creation and sinfulness how does that demonstrated the new creatures we are in Jesus? The answers I’ve heard have been less than convincing.

On the other hand, while Side Y seems the best of the approaches, pastors and elders remain unwilling to open their churches to acknowledging the presence of Christian members with SSA in their congregations, and this means that those members–that if in Side B churches would be able to openly admit their sexual orientation and receive congregational support, love, help, and accountability–are forced to remain closeted, secreted, and without the aid of the church as they navigate the destructive paths of their unwanted SSA. It’s a dichotomy that absolutely plagues the church today. And if the church does not find a better way to help her members through these fiery trials, she will lose these men and women to terrible tribulation.