In a Place Like This

NOTE: This is prompted by a conversation with one of my students.

How do you grieve in a place like this?

You’re given devastating news; the death of a friend, a cousin, a parent, a girlfriend, an aunt, or uncle. Whether by disease or illness, accident, overdose, or suicide, the result is that the person you loved or cared about in some way is gone, and you are in this place, unable to be there.

They give you the news, maybe offer to let you talk to a counselor or to the chaplain, and then you’re told to return to your cell. “Lock in.” How do you grieve in a place like this?

Showing emotion demonstrates weakness. Weakness invites trouble. Trouble creates problems. Problems ruin the improvements you’ve been trying to make. “You can’t change everything because there’s always someone ready to bark at you. You can only be a chameleon for so long.” It’s not just grieving in a place like this that’s hard; it’s changing for the better.

You’re locked up here, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are human. People forget that, and that’s a problem. “We’re still human. We still need.” Those words are vital for those walking free to remember about you. You are human. You have emotions, feelings, grief. How can we help you grieve in a place like this? Better yet, how can I help you grieve?

I want to create a safe place for you to be, where you can express what you need to, or simply hang out and say nothing at all. You are learning to deal with these emotions without substances that will numb your pain. Let us help you do that. There are people here that really care about your success in this. How can I help you grieve?