CMS

Chris and I were talking this morning, and it struck me that he had a good point; he often does. Who is Chris? He’s one of the men in my first class of the day. Anyway, we were talking about how he gets his day going by being in my classroom–he wants to safeguard that first hour of the day to be in here with me by not being forced to be in some other facility-required programming during that time. We reflected to one another how we weren’t sure when we first met that we’d get along with each other. In fact, we had a little blow up early on, but then we “hugged it out,” as he likes to say, and moved on with our lives.

“You don’t have my sense of humor,” Chris said this morning, “but you’re willing to take a joke, shrug it off, and move on with your life. You don’t let stuff bother you.” And it was that last comment that caught my attention, because there’s a lot that happens in my workday that I DON’T let bother me, yet there are some things that easily get under my skin. While this thought passed through my mind, Chris kept talking. “You mentioned a few days ago that you learned to make jokes at your own expense so bullies’ words wouldn’t hurt so much. I mean, that’s a good coping tool. If I’d been around, I would’ve given those bullies something else to do.”

Chris is a man of action most of the time. He’s learning to use his words more than he used to, and he’s finding his voice. He has begun to advocate more for himself and other residents, and I know of one man here that wouldn’t have made it this long without Chris’ help. Still, leading horses to water and getting them to drink without prompting are two different scenarios, as we all know, and not every colt is ready to learn when the help is available. But this is beside the point today.

The point today is that when I am the butt of sharp comments, the source determines the level of pain successfully inflicted, it seems. Between “many a truth is spoken in jest” and hearing the tone of voice or feeling especially vulnerable when reading the words, the messenger and/or medium can make all the difference between “water off a duck’s back” and “Eh tu, Brute?” In most of my work situations, there are few times when my reaction is the latter, unless the messenger is a coworker or supervisor. Given the circumstances that bring my students here, antisocial communications are common, with ample opportunities to redirect to prosocial responses.

CMS: Creative Mental Solutions are part of the job.