Odorous to “Effing”

As previously noted, I work in a correctional facility. To the surprise of no one (I would hope), the language frequently used there is typically salty (think Dead Sea as opposed to Atlantic Ocean). MFW (Most Favored Word) status has been granted to the “F” word, which passes for nearly every part of speech needed. I reached my limit yesterday and wrote the following tongue-in-cheek “poem.”

Every effing day I effing go to my effing wonderful job,
where I effing listen to effing grown-ups who don’t effing seem to effingknow how to effing make an effing sentence without effing using the effing eff word every effing other effing moment.

My effing students say the effing eff word so effing often that they don’t effing realize that they’re even effing using it; it just effing slips out. 

So, when I say, “No, thank you,” they stare at me blankly. 

“What the eff?” they ask.

“You said I should ‘eff this’,” I reply. “No, thank you. I’d rather not.”

For one or two effing moments, they effing realize that their adjective, verb, and exclamatory vocabulary has been reduced to variations of the same effing word, but then they resume their effing, and the effing teaching moment is effing lost.

It effing drives me effing crazy!